Dealing with Unemployment in Your Twenties – Part 2

Dealing W_Unemployment in Your 20's Part 2

This is part two in a four part series. Click here to read my introduction to the series and click here to read part 1.

Part 2: The Aftermath

Before I made the decision to leave Philadelphia, I decided to try my luck at waiting to see if the lay off was temporary as my employer had suggested [I already knew that it was permanent, but I didn’t want to believe it]. I also decided to continue applying for jobs around the city. I quickly realized that although I was getting interview requests, I was applying for jobs out of desperation and they weren’t jobs that I actually wanted to do. The jobs that I really wanted to apply for required graduate degrees or work experience equivalent to a graduate degree. I didn’t have either, so I was in a tough spot.

I could elect to take a retail job since those were  readily available, but after doing some rudimentary calculations, I found that I would be making barely enough money to cover my rent and utilities, let alone having money for groceries, and I would have had to work more than 50 hours per week just to make ends meet. I also briefly considered teaching abroad in Asia. I have five friends who are currently teaching abroad, but after doing research and talking to them, I decided that if I was going to travel abroad it would be to backpack, but not to work. My past behavior tells me that once I got comfortable in a job, I would find reasons not to quit it and I would probably never come back to America.

I had already renewed my lease for another year, I had just bought some new furniture, and I had a few trips lined up. Although I would receive a small unemployment check from my job, I was faced with the reality that I was about to be in serious debt if I didn’t figure out another plan. I finally worked up the nerve to call home and tell my mom that I had lost my job, and the phone call ended up being quite hilarious:

Me: Guess what I got today?

My Mom: What?

Me: A “Pink Slip”!

My Mom: A pink slip? Where did you buy it? What are you going to wear it with?

Me: No, I said a PINK SLIP

My Mom: Was it affordable? Can you get one for me too?

Me: I’m trying to tell you that I just got laid off. I am not talking about clothes.

My Mom: Oh…Why didn’t you just say that?!?…So why don’t you just move home? You can study for your graduate school entry exam and find yourself a job around here.

Me: <Starts having an internal meltdown> Move back home??! NO WAY! I’m I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T!

My Mom: It is no fun to be independent and broke.

Moms always speak the truth, even when you don’t want to hear it, lol. She was right. There was no way I could continue to live in Philadelphia. I had to move back home. I gave myself four weeks to pack up my entire life,  book a one way ticket home, and say goodbye to my little group of friends.

I put all of my furniture up for sale on Craigslist for super cheap and everything sold within 48 hours. I culled through my belongings and only kept five medium sized boxes of stuff and shipped it home. Everything else, including all of my beloved kitchen gadgets, my bath and body products, my book collection, and my electronics, were offered to my friends, who happily took them off my hands.

I had already renewed my apartment lease with my roommate, so I had to continue paying rent until she was able to find a new tenant to replace me, which further drained my bank account. In the end, it took nearly two months for her to find someone, which was super frustrating, but once she did I could finally breathe a sigh of relief.

As I rode the train to the airport and looked out the window for the last time at the skyline of the city that I had called home for the last five years, I was met with conflicting emotions. I was sad that I failed at the “American Dream” and that I would have to start all over again. I was scared that things would never work out and that I would never find my footing. I was angry at my employer for keeping us in the dark about what was going on with the company.

The train pulled into the airport and I joined the other passengers in riding the escalator up to the airport entrance. As I stepped off the escalator and walked towards lobby of the airport, I paused for a moment to let it all sink in. All of the sounds of the city, the pungent smell of car exhaust in the air, and the harried looks of people rushing to and fro were forever etched in my mind. I knew I would miss the city, but I also knew that I was making the right decision. I walked through the airport doors and as they shut firmly behind me, I knew I was stepping into the next chapter of my life.

Stay Tuned for Part 3: The Lessons

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Dealing with Unemployment in Your Twenties – Part 1

Dealing W_Unemployment in Your 20's Part 1

This is part one in a four part series. Click here to read my introduction to the series.

Part 1: My Unemployment Story

As I stated in my introductory post, I worked for my previous employer for five years. It was my first job after graduating from college and it was my first time living in a big city all by myself. It was a relatively small start up company and we only had a handful of employees. I started my programs from scratch and I managed five projects and two employees, and I also ran an organization in the community.

To outsiders, everything looked amazing. Our organization was regularly featured in the news, we were winning awards, and we were earning big partnerships with other companies. However, something was very off. I’m not going to go into any detail as to what happened to the company. All I will say is that it no longer exists.

I can honestly say from the first day I was working there I noticed red-flags all over the place, but I chose to keep ignoring them. I think the reason that I stayed in that job longer than I should have is that I had nothing to compare it to. I thought that the things I was experiencing at work were normal, although when I spoke to my friends and heard stories about their jobs, I quickly realized that I should probably grab my life vest and get off the sinking ship before things got too bad (spoiler alert: I went down with the ship). Things went downhill quickly.

Red Flag #1: Other employees got laid off, but management said that it was just temporary until things got sorted out.

Red Flag #2: Board members started stopping by “just to say Hi.”

Red Flag #3: All meetings started occurring behind closed doors.

Red Flag #4: Staff meetings started becoming few and far between.

Red Flag #5: The shredder was being used so often that it actually seized up and died.

My coworkers and I were called into the conference room. We received our layoff notices, but we were told that it was potentially just temporary until things got sorted out (sound familiar?) I cleaned out my desk, put in my request for my final vacation days, and started trying to figure out what to do next. My lease was about to expire, but I had already renewed it for another year.  I had bills to pay. Where was the money going to come from?

I was faced with a decision. I could either stay in Philadelphia and take a retail job to make ends meet, or I could move home and save money and apply to graduate school. The decision was hard, but ultimately I decided to move back home. I had lived in Philadelphia for half of a decade and it never felt like home. It wasn’t for me, but I kept trying to make it work because I was “living the dream” on the East Coast and I didn’t want to move back to the South.

It took me a few months to cope with leaving my life in Philly behind, but a few unexpected events showed me that making the decision to leave was one of the best decisions that I have ever made.

Stay tuned for Part 2: The Aftermath.

Dealing with Unemployment in Your Twenties – A Series

Dealing W_Unemployment in Your 20's

Your twenties are all about finding yourself. You explore new career paths, new cities, and new relationships. You become a master at how to cook your favorite dish, you learn new words such as “healthcare premium” and “401K”, and you dream of the day when you will never have to co-sign a lease with a roommate again (drama.drama.drama!).

For some of us, however, our twenties turned into finding ourselves…on a plane, on our way back to our parents’ house because we were handed a pink slip or layoff notice at our place of employment. Continue reading

#SelfCareFeb Days 5-7: Evaluate Your Social Media

This is the first official weekend challenge of #SelfCareFeb. We are going to take a look at social media. I kind of touched upon this in yesterday’s post, but social media has become increasingly important in our culture and for many people it has become a source of “information” on what is going on in the lives of people around you.The problem with this is that it can be so easy to believe that someone else’s life is going better than yours just because they are posting selfies of themselves smiling on the beach in Thailand or in front of their brand new car, which is simply not true. Everyone is at different stages in their life, and comparing your current stage in life to someone else’s is not going to do you any favors. It can make you feel pretty bad about yourself. Here are some tips that you can implement over the weekend to make your social media more uplifting and inspiring:

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#SelfCareFeb Day 4: Reconnect with a Friend

I hope things are going well with #SelfCareFeb so far! In today’s age of the internet and social media, it is so easy to think that you are actively maintaining your friendships by “liking” pictures and commenting on statuses. But when was the last time that you actually had a conversation with a dear friend? I made some of my best friends in college, but we are scattered all over the world so it can be difficult to stay in touch. Like many of my college friends, I moved to the East Coast (of the United States) after graduation. It was easy to hop on a bus or the train to visit them. Now that I live in the South, I haven’t seen many of my friends for at least 6 months. It can be incredibly lonely to be far away from friends, but it only takes a few minutes to get back in touch so that you can connect with like minds, share what is going on in each others respective lives, and have a good laugh (or twenty good laughs, in the case of my conversations with my friend Ashley!) Here are some tips:

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Don’t Give Up on Yourself

Manayunk Waterfall

I am embarking on something new and I am on a really strict and compressed timeline for completing it. I have been overcome with stress and fatigue which has led to me developing tension headaches, and they have lasted  anywhere from one to two weeks at a stretch. The fear of failure has been especially overwhelming, because on paper and in my mind I see absolutely no logical way that what I am trying to accomplish can result in a favorable outcome. However, I know that something can only be impossible if you never attempt it, so I am giving it my best shot.

The only thing that I have found that has gotten rid of my headaches, at least temporarily (besides stressing less, haha), is yoga. Continue reading

Create Space for the Things You Love

My desk is a direct reflection of my state of being right now.

My desk is a direct reflection of my state of being right now.

I have visited my blog so many times in the past year. I would start a draft of a post, then promptly delete it while convincing myself that I don’t have time to blog and that my time should be spend doing more important things. My life has been in the craziest state of flux over the past 12 months. I moved AGAIN (more on that later…), I have had to make some really big decisions, and to sum it up, I have felt like the proverbial duck that looks calm above the surface of the water but underneath the surface is paddling furiously to stay afloat.  Continue reading